So, I started college on Monday. It was pretty alright. But ever since and all throughout high school, I don't do well in social situations. I suck when it comes to being around people who are more outgoing than I. I am fine around people I know, and whose interests and hearts I know. And because of that, I have a really, really hard time with new people.
And see, that's a problem when you're on a campus with 17,000 students. It just doesn't work.
And I desperately, desperately want to start making new friends and especially plugging into the body of Christ on campus, because I know it will make college so much easier. well, less stressful, anyway. But for whatever reason, I have trust issues. I have trouble believing people's motives are good. I have a hard time believing that half the Christians I meet/hear about are genuine and sincere. And I wish I knew the remedy for that.
I guess I just don't like it when people are always happy. Why? I don't know. I want to be, trust me! But I have trouble around people who are always cheerful. I guess maybe because my life hasn't always been easy. But still, that's no reason to not be happy. That's no reason to be negative. And I've been asking God to teach me how to be happy without being plastic, because that's what I desperately want. I'm tired of being half-happy, 1/4 worried and 1/4 frustrated throughout the week. And I know that the only way I can do that is if Jesus helps me do so...I once heard a man say (roughly) that hope isn't so much a desperate "I really really want this to happen" but instead a confidence in who God is and what He has promised.

Thank God that I am and will remain a work in progress until Jesus calls me home.