The thing that scares me the most...

I am so scared by the concept of insincerity.
There's nothing worse to me than leading someone astray by saying one thing and living, or feeling, or doing another. NOTHING WORSE.
Every time I talk about Jesus, I want to mean every word. I don't want to talk up a load of bull about the Lord and not mean it. That includes bad days. If I am having a bad day, I want to admit it. To ask Him for guidance and peace.

Amen.

Ahhhh.

Rest.
REST IN THE LORD.

Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."

This is precisely what God has done for me this whole month of December so far. I have learned to rest in Him. I have a whole new appreciation for the Sabbath and for time off, and it's there to SEEK THE LORD. Not to mention all of the other things I have learned in this time, but if nothing else, rest in Jesus Christ.

I felt stirred tonight to start a journal of everything that God has taught me and I have learned. PUT IT IN STONE. Testify. I know this is real. I know that what God has done in my heart is real. It's not something I read in a book, it's not something that I obtained or an emotional high. It's not. I'm happy, yes. But I'm really learning that all of my sufficiency, all my strength, my joy, my passion and love, my EVERYTHING, is in Jesus Christ. I could have anything, I could play video games all day long and buy anything I want, watch movies, hang out with people, anything, but it does not satisfy me. Jesus is the One. He is the One.

I am stoked for my future, I am grateful for His grace, and I am fully dependant on Him for anything and everything. It's exactly where I want and need to be.

Maturity.

Here I am.

I've been saying this and I'll keep saying it.
My spiritual walk is a struggle.
It has been since the year 2007 commenced, and it will continue to be as the Lord molds me. I'm finding myself no longer running from the fight that is the spiritual walk, but I'm trying to fight it by God's grace, and not my own strength.
Seriously, I feel weaker at this very second than I ever have in my whole entire life. So ashamed, scared, broken...robbed even, but that's grace.
You know?
God can't make us any better until we're entirely stripped of all pride and maybe even dignity. I am. Right now, I am.
I'm poor. I've got nothing.

As I was kind of hiding in my shame and weakness today, I felt God say something softly, harshly, yet lovingly to me:

"You can't buy maturity. You can't even earn it. I take you there."

And that broke me down. BROKE. ME. DOWN.

Because when I think of "the way things were," I think of maturity. I think of the leader.

But leaders aren't people who earn God's trust and approval (read that one over and over,)
LEADERS ARE CHOSEN BY THE LORD.
If you're not a leader, then don't try to be one. If you are one, ask God to give you strength to lead well.

Galatians 6:3-5

3 For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself.

4 But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another.

5 For every man shall bear his own burden.

That's me. I'm nothing. In my flesh, my own works, I'm poor. I need Jesus, I believe, more right now than I ever have, probably more than when I first got saved. I really wish I had it all figured out and could throw the Bible at any and every situation, and be like Paul and do it with a pure, clean, ready, serving heart, but I cannot. I am weak and poor.

but praise God that in our weakness He is made strong, and He proves to us that He's worth it.

It's all in place.

This journey with the Lord truly gets better and better as time goes on. Whoever wrote the song "Sweeter" obviously was not lying or faking.

1 Peter 5:8
Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

You know, I'm thinking about all of the "types" of Christians, and how they (we) each have our weaknesses and strengths. But I think universally we forget the enemy at times, and universally we are attacked by him.
Ephesians 6:12
We are not fighting against humans. We are fighting against forces and authorities and against rulers of darkness and powers in the spiritual world.

We need to understand that we fight an enemy that's as real as God, but is as evil as God is loving.
why?
1. When we're under condemnation and guilt and shame, it puts everything into perspective, realizing that it's not your or God's fault.
2. It keeps us sharp, fighting the enemy.

Today I received that God has everything in place. That what I don't have now, God's preparing for me later.
Example, a girlfriend. My old youth pastor talked to me today after church, and she asked,
"So Jeff, are there any girls in your life?" "As in interests?" I replied. "Yeah, there's one. But she likes (so-and-so,) she told me so herself."
"Ohhhhh...girls are so messed up, Jeff! I mean, you're a great Christian, you're handsome, you're smart...why wouldn't girls like you? Girls have problems, trust me, I am one!"
And that was really encouraging, to know my efforts aren't overlooked. Also inside the same 24 hours, I was approached by that girl and we talked straight-on about how I felt and how she felt, and got it worked out. Honestly, I still like her and it hurts to know she likes my accountability partner, and I can't even fathom trying to be happy for them if they got together.
But, as we were talking about all of this, she said to me, "You're going to marry an awesome girl who could make you happier than I ever could." I wanted to say, "BUT I WISH THAT WEREN'T TRUE! I WANT YOU TO MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN I COULD EVER BE!" But...I refrained. Because I began to think, if this girl's not everything, and there's more for me, than it's like...DANG!!! Man, my wife's gonna be incredible!

One of my favorite books (and I haven't even read it!) is Walking with God by John Eldredge. It's a down-to-earth account, journal, and guide to and about simply walking with God and hearing His voice.

We hear it so often...that God has a plan.

But I'm telling you, GOD HAS A PLAN!!
John 10:10
A thief comes only to rob, kill, and destroy. I came so that everyone would have life, and have it in its fullest.

That was Jesus talking.
Do you realize that God has the master plan for your life already mapped out and He's ready for you to trust Him for it and learn to hear His voice. Because I assure you:

Where something is lacking in your life, or you're lacking something in your life, God has more for you.

I promise. I don't know much about God and His plan but I know that by the blood of Jesus, we have a better covenant based on better promises.
This is my hope: that every time I stop looking at a picture of a pretty girl (not even revealing ones) every time I pray for God to help me to not masturbate, every girl I get over my crush on, every time I resist pornography, every time I bounce my eyes in public, that is one more way I can honor my future wife, and because of it, our marriage will be healthier than I could ever possibly imagine.
The same is true for any part of our lives. Any time we honor God's plan instead of our own, we prepare our soil to receive God's great promises.
Ask God what that is in your life.

He is good, and greatly to be praised.

In Christ,
Jeff
Micah 6:8

differences/who am I?

I'm gonna start this out with a quote and a scripture...

Ephesians 4:4-13
4 There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6 one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

7 But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. 8 This is why it says:
"When he ascended on high,
he led captives in his train
and gave gifts to men."
9 (What does "he ascended" mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? 10 He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) 11 It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12 to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

Quote: "I may sound kind of blasphemous, but I believe that in church today, there is too much God and not enough Jesus."
-Josh Bergstrom

This is a tough one to start.

Let me say that I think that the root of most of this is a heart thing, at least for me. I've heard some stuff that my heart wasn't ready for, and when it didn't transform my life completely or speak right to my circumstance, I've (unwillingly) written it off as irrelevant and my flesh wants to attack the very doctrines of the word of God.
What I mean by that is that, back in my "maybe-if-I-stuff-my-head-full-of-sermons-and-info-I'll-have-a-good-relationship-with-God" phase, I started listening to all kinds of teachings and reading books, a lot of them dealing with the loftier things of God, such as the end times (to me that's lofty knowledge, lofty as in big) the "Glory of God" (I still have no clue what that exactly is) spiritual gifts...etc.
And that's for later in your walk with Christ. I know that's not the extent of the walk with the Lord. You don't come to know Christ just so you can heal everyone, or so you can get caught up in these big Holy Spirit moments. You get to know Jesus so that He can transform your life into a life that can give Him honor and esteem in everything you do.
Simple, right?

Really simple, the more I look at it.
The question that lingers in my mind is this:

Lord, can I still enjoy the things I enjoy, have fun, still give You honor, and grow in my walk?

I guess I see so many "types" of Christians.
There are people who like, have so much fun with their lives and have a family and kids and stuff and totally love Jesus every second of it, and other people completely like, clean their lives out of everything but books about God and worship music and teachings and stuff and like, when you get them in a church, they're so wise and always have something good to say and stuff, and they like understand the Bible so well and stuff...
but to me, the latter sounds better.

I barely even care about understanding everything, I just want to love Jesus.
I just want to live my life to the fullest and give God all the honor for it. Does that mean I have to like, sacrifice the things I love to do, like watch movies and listen to music, and watch football, play video games? Or can I do those things?
Tim Lawson has given me the best advice about this that I've ever gotten. He said (roughly)
"I think there's an unspoken pressure on you to be this super-Christian. And you don't have to be. I think Jeff Poling would be a cool guy to hang out with, even if he weren't a Christian."

There are two thoughts that conflict on this matter:
1. When the Bible says, "You shall have no gods before Me." Make God number one. And honestly, my problem is that I do esteem things. There have been times when I've been convicted about watching a football game instead of spending just a little time with God. video games are huge when it comes to this. It's a big time issue, I need to organize my time to give God more of it.
2. The Bible also commissions us to fill the earth and subdue it. So I don't think that "stuff" is necessarily bad, and I really don't think that things like sports are bad.

I think I'm at the point where I need to take this to God.

The Key to Effective Ministry

Before I start, I'm not much of a minister myself, I'm on the worship team at church, but what I'm about to write definitely affects anyone involved in any ministry of any scale.
I don't claim this to be the ultimate how-to or for this to work the same way for everyone, but the Bible definitely makes it clear that this is important to any Christian who wants to spread the gospel.
I hope this blesses you.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Now, in a lot of cases, people think of the love Paul is talking about is love for others. Maybe that's the word he used in the Greek or the Hebrew, I don't claim to know. But to me, this is true about love for others, yes, but more importantly, love for God.
I think it is way too possible to know your stuff and not have a basis of love for God. In fact, this is where I was for a while. I thought that the key to a relationship with God was to fill my head with all kinds of knowledge of the Bible, about prophecy and end times and spiritual gifts...but that's not how to love God. In fact, just like Paul says, that is all useless when you don't have love. I can say that from experience.

Remember that all we do in ministry is out of our love for the Lord. And if we're not doing what we do because of love, then it's useless and ineffective, and I guarantee that you'll get no satisfaction out of it.
I pray that if you're reading this, God will strengthen your love for Him, and establish a foundation of love for you as you grow in maturity.

In Him,
Jeff
Micah 6:8, 7:18

Christmas.

For some reason, I'm so much warmer when the holidays roll around than I am during the summer.

There's something about Christmas that can melt the hardest heart. I love it so much and I feel like a little girl. But I guess Christmas brings everyone to their knees.
Matthew 2:1-11 (The Message)
After Jesus was born in Bethlehem village, Judah territory— this was during Herod's kingship—a band of scholars arrived in Jerusalem from the East. They asked around, "Where can we find and pay homage to the newborn King of the Jews? We observed a star in the eastern sky that signaled his birth. We're on pilgrimage to worship him."
When word of their inquiry got to Herod, he was terrified—and not Herod alone, but most of Jerusalem as well. Herod lost no time. He gathered all the high priests and religion scholars in the city together and asked, "Where is the Messiah supposed to be born?"
They told him, "Bethlehem, Judah territory. The prophet Micah wrote it plainly:

It's you, Bethlehem, in Judah's land,
no longer bringing up the rear.
From you will come the leader
who will shepherd-rule my people, my Israel."

Herod then arranged a secret meeting with the scholars from the East. Pretending to be as devout as they were, he got them to tell him exactly when the birth-announcement star appeared. Then he told them the prophecy about Bethlehem, and said, "Go find this child. Leave no stone unturned. As soon as you find him, send word and I'll join you at once in your worship."

Instructed by the king, they set off. Then the star appeared again, the same star they had seen in the eastern skies. It led them on until it hovered over the place of the child. They could hardly contain themselves: They were in the right place! They had arrived at the right time!

They entered the house and saw the child in the arms of Mary, his mother. Overcome, they kneeled and worshiped him. Then they opened their luggage and presented gifts: gold, frankincense, myrrh.

This is the time of year when, no matter how mature you are in your faith, no matter how physically, mentally, or emotionally strong you are, you are captivated by Jesus. By His immense, incredible love.
Only if He were the Son of God could a tiny baby in a manger deserve for wise men to bow down at Jesus' manger, and bringing Him the finest fragrances and gifts.
Only the Son of God can pervade the darkness that we all experience, the darkness of loneliness, the darkness of fear, of doubt, and of sin. (John 1:5)
Only the Son of God. Only Jesus.

If you're musical, take time to sing Christmas worship unto Jesus with your family.
If you're not musical, then just pray with your family and thank Jesus for loving us enough to come.

I love Christmas so much, because Christmas is all about Jesus. It's like, of all the things that God has done, even resurrecting Jesus, His birth sticks out to me as the most influential thing to ever happen. To think of all the praise and worship...angels in the sky singing "Glory to God in the highest! Peace on Earth, goodwill to men!"...wise men and shepherds alike coming to worship at His manger. It's so incredible to me.

Thank You, Jesus, for coming. For dying to set us free from darkness. We've all walked in darkness, whether we'll admit it or not, and we need You, only You, to set us free from that darkness.
We love You, Lord.
In Jesus' name.
Amen!

Here goes...

Well, for anyone who didn't know what's going on in my life right now, let me explain.

For the past while, I've been up and down with my faith (praise God I'm on an up right now) and just can't seem to be strong enough to dig my roots in deep. One day I was talking to a friend of mine about it (in tears, mind you) and he asked, "what do you think triggers it?"
because you have to understand, I'd been reading all the books I could, listening to all the music I could, going to retreats, attending prayer meetings, doing all the life groups I could and nothing could help me.
And I replied, "None of this started until I got my job."
PING!
Lightbulb.
Bingo.
"Ohhhhhh...!" he said.
"Ohhhh..." I thought.
So after that I started wondering if leaving my job would be the thing to do. I went to my alone spot (I totally go to Brushy Fork when I'm feeling down) to pray about leaving.
"Is this really what You want me to do, God?"
I feel very strongly that His response was a resounding "Yes."
So I thought (note: thought, didn't pray) about when my last day would be. I decided I wanted to close on my last day, so I decided on Christmas Eve, and put in my notice in early November.
I thought and prayed a ton about what I'd do during this time off, what it was for, where I'd work, etc...and I'm positive that God's response to me was something like this:
Your faith has taken a beating. You're only holding on right now because you know deep down inside that I am the truth, and I have branded you. You're mine. Now is the time to pull out of the battle. Let Me heal you. Let Me teach you. I'm going to reinforce the walls of your faith, and make you a strong warrior for Me.

So ever since I got God's confirmation that I was supposed to take time off, I've been stoked, because I really want to get back to the basics of my walk with God, and growing in maturity knowing who I am as a person, as a man, and as a child of God.
A couple of weeks after I had put in my notice, I was telling someone about my last day.
"Yeah, I'm doing Christmas eve because I want to close on my last day..."
And for whatever reason, the word "I" stuck out to me like a sore thumb. I kinda shrugged the thought off.
That next Sunday, whenever it was, Pastor Tim preached a sermon called "God's got a Plan." Then I started to realize that God was talking.
So I started asking God if He wanted me to leave sooner. I started thinking about money and Christmas and stuff, and I said, "God, I'll be getting like three less paychecks!" "Exactly," He replied. It was then that He reminded me of back at the men's conference when Pastor Scott explained that "God calls us when we feel least prepared, so we can rely on Him."
In fact, I probably would have never thought of leaving my job if it weren't for the men's conference...because let me explain the theme of the conference.
The scripture was taken out of 1 Kings 17 and 18, talking about Elijah, and his preparation for his mission.
1 Kings 17:1-6 (the Message)
And then this happened: Elijah the Tishbite, from among the settlers of Gilead, confronted Ahab: "As surely as God lives, the God of Israel before whom I stand in obedient service, the next years are going to see a total drought—not a drop of dew or rain unless I say otherwise. God then told Elijah, "Get out of here, and fast. Head east and hide out at the Kerith Ravine on the other side of the Jordan River. You can drink fresh water from the brook; I've ordered the ravens to feed you."Elijah obeyed God's orders. He went and camped in the Kerith canyon on the other side of the Jordan. And sure enough, ravens brought him his meals, both breakfast and supper, and he drank from the brook.

So here's the deal. Elijah declares the word, and then listens to what God told him. Then he lives like a hippy, doesn't shower or anything, just kinda chilling by this brook while Ahab scours the land trying to find and capture him. And he's like eating from ravens. I'd be a little humiliated, myself. I'd be like, "oh, Lord, at least let me kill my own food!" but nope, he listens and obeys. And this was Elijah's preparation time. When God was setting everything in place. He was wearing out Ahab, giving Elijah rest from traveling, working on Elijah's heart, it was all being done here at the brook.

This is where I think God has me. He's preparing the road ahead, preparing my heart for it, and then here in a little while, He'll send me out again.
Waiting on the Lord is an active activity. it involves learning from Him, relying on Him, etc.
I believe that this is the time when God strips a man down away from his friends, his reputation, his stuff, his money (ohhh man that's big) and builds a heart for Him. Seriously.
And the best part of all of this is that right now, I feel happiest, I feel closest to God, I feel strongest, and I feel most ready to go.
Lord, thank You for working on me!

Anyways, back to the top...November 28th was my last day. Oh, I had forgotten to mention that I moved my last day up! It was going to be December 2nd, but the restaraunt manager didn't want me working only two days of December and being on it's turnover.
So here I am, December 1st, officially on the first day of my time at Brook Peggy Flats. After Thursday, I'll be living off my bank account (which, praise God, has plenty in it) and won't be hanging out much, going to see movies, buying music, buying junk food, anything like that. Bare minimum. And that's enough.

I'm doing a Bible study that I'm calling, "Getting to know Jesus." Where I just read a couple chapters in Matthew and write down everything, significant or not, about Jesus. I know I'll never fully comprehend Him, but at least I can get to know Him a little. :)
I'm also getting ready to go down to Tennessee for a weekend, my friend David and I are leaving at 3 AM January 3rd, coming back January 4th. We're going to Nashville and visiting NewSong Christian Fellowship. We both feel a peace about Tennessee, and we're trying to find out if God has a plan for us down there.

So there's my life right now! As of Thursday, I'm just working at home, studying, praying, going to church, playing with our wonderful worship team, going to Christmas choir practice, and life groups!
P.S. Christmas Concert (Jesus Saves) is December 13th at 7 PM at River of Life! Hope you can make it!